Eternity bores me. Not like Sylvia, I actually wanted it. Maybe somewhere deep inside I still do, maybe somewhere deep inside I'm still thinking that it exists. It took me just few months of realization that it doesn't exist.
Eternity. Perpetuity. Infinity. Sempiternity. Ubiquity. We don't really believe in these words we just love how pleasant they sound to us. Hell, I am just a teenager and got my whole god damn adult life ahead and is already given up on existence of eternity. But why have bittersweet false believes?
It's not the negativity in my mind it's just how I feel about it. I'm not here to break your dreams of spending your whole life with your lover or break you two up. Just my opinions and shit.
Maybe I am afraid to fall in love because falling in love will get my hopes up and make me believe in eternity, due to which I will end up getting hurt. And love fades, everything does. I always thought it was "Till death do us apart." not till "I'm bored." Like no doubt why I don't date. People these days don't even know what dating actually means, I mean they literally blurt out "I love you." on the second day of their dating. And they break up after realizing that there is no ''SPARK" While others just date to get that tag of "committed" Days when you are single are the best days life, no possession or no infidelity. And these trust issues are also one of the reason why eternity is non-existent to me. But I love abrupt endings. Leaving everything incomplete and nothing cliché is my kinda thing.
I hate loving and caring. To be honest there are just 5-6 people in my life who I actually care about. For the rest, I ask them to make it easier and tell me I don't matter to 'em. Because once I start caring, I don't stop. So I just prefer to be a loner. Right now I am going through a phase where you feel lonely and want to be alone at the same time,STRANGE I call it. Yeah I can be cheesy as fuck sometimes but it's my life my rules, my cocaine my weed.
Just don't try to figure me out, I am fucked up too.
XXX
I felt like reading a naked wolf, with nails raw and sharp.
ReplyDeleteTrue Socratic approach.
Always recheck even on the slightest doubt. That is freedom. I'm going through that similar phase of life.
Absolutly, No Cliché.
It's always nice to believe in the present you. I hope you come back to read this in some years' time.
ReplyDeleteSurprise surprises that way:P
Have I ever told you that you're one of the very few people I can completely relate to? Man, this shit is so accurate, I could kiss your head to death. And again yeah, *yolo-coco-solo* is the shiz, I couldn't agree more. You're one hell of a nigga. Up-top bub.
ReplyDeleteHonestly you already know how much I love this because it is 100% relatable and you know why (at least I hope you do) and I'm impressed good job bitch!!<●>
ReplyDelete